The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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