he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
vagina is talking i cant
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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