who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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