coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
