they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
