She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
