Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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