if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
