i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
