everyone is single if you try hard enough
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
