you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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