physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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