I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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