I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
