Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
