In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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