i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the day after is always just damage control
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
