I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize