she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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