Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
