My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
