So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
