haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They have beer where we have blood.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
