I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
