oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
