K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
