well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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