I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
