Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
