i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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