i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
