Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
