I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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