You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No subtext here. People are naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
