who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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