IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
