So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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