I hate all girls vehemently.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
