i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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