omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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