actually, I'm a sock model
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
