NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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