You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I came so hard my ears popped.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
