Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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