Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
