Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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