Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Walk of Shame today included voting.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
