lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
