I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
