those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
